Mirror pool

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I never fell in love with you
I fell in love with me loving you
and loving unloveable me through you
How good it felt to love you
— unloveable you —
made loveable by me loving you
It made (the unloveable) me loveable too
all through the act of me loving you
loveable you, my self and me too

Loving you was loving me
— unloveable me —
Was love of me through abject mirror
reflecting me back onto you
and back to me
abject object
— me, you —
and how I prayed that in loving you
I was loveable too

I built self mirrors with light of love
refracted through the (dark and absent) void of you
an empty hole of a blackened self
We mirror back mirrors of my love
and mirrors of love reflect
the self and you and mirrors back to me
me too
I am loveable and no longer need you

Mother Gaia is on fire

fire

Mother Gaia is on fire
In her womb it burns and twists
Her flood of blood our exit wound
We are haemorrhaging
Caia Caecilia, goddess of fire
Protector of women
And hearth of home, container of fire
(Element of Gaia)
Save us all by shrinking flames
Create a heart(h) for our home
Our Mother Gaia
Contain the flames
But let the fire fuel our fight
Let it stay in our hearts
But not destroy us
Our anger’s bright
Our anger’s the thing that fuels the fight

While Gaia twists in uterine torsion
The head of her baby is squashed and dead
The brains of our leaders no longer work
They protect the tumour instead of the source
High ranking socios, psychos and pimps
They dance with the devil
In the dark of the shadows
Strangers to light they wander blind
Like moles out of tunnels
Can’t see what’s right Read More

Hallelujah

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The day of loss-tinged love is here, but
we all remember
when we were whole, when
things were real, if only in hope, if only in heaven; I
remember when you moved
me with your gentle glance, your tight embrace in
strong warm arms, you
and me, just us two and
a return to the womb, the
return to spirit both holy
and relieved like a released dove,
pure white and reaching for sky, our union was
moving towards thin air, moving
ever upwards, as we must too,
out of the darkness and
allow the light to enter every
cool wide breath
every heavy deep plunge. As we
moved in sync I drew
you deep in my lungs like air and it was
like life, it was like Hallelujah.


A Golden Shovel poem based on the following lines from Leonard Cohen’s Hallelujah (via Jeff Buckley’s version).

“But remember when I moved in you
And the holy dove was moving too
And every breath we drew was Hallelujah”

Heal her by Melita White

My poem “Heal her”, published on Whisper and the Roar, explores the concept of self-parenting as a way to heal trauma.

Whisper and the Roar

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Hollow clavicle seared with hot poker
Let the sun shine and hear her sing
Pain that aches like an unmet heart
Part the clouds and paint her sky blue
Void like the arms of an empty hug
Fill them with flesh and please let it care
Hunger like the itch of an attention junkie
Feed her with love may it nourish anew
The sorrowful swoop of a downwards brushstroke
Turn it upside down and make her smile
A big fat blank where the future once was
Rewrite it loud in clean clear letters
The promise of a fuck refused yet wanted
Dance instead and hold her hands tight
Lust for the breast like a needy newborn
Whisper a lullaby to soothe her soft soul

Melita White is founder and writer of the blog Feminist Confessional, a space that features feminist poetry, essays and personal pieces in a confessional style, with…

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