How does stalking fit into patterns of violence against women?

This is a really good article by Maheen from the blog This Violence is not a Tragedy on stalking and how the attitudes we have towards stalkers needs to shift. Be aware that a lot of stalking these days happens online, and that stalking often happens when you leave an abuser, as the amount of control they have over you is reduced when you leave. Always make a safety plan with police or a domestic violence organisation if you are leaving an abusive relationship.

This Violence is not a Tragedy

How does stalking fit into patterns of violence against women?

Stalking is not something we necessarily have a very good understanding of as a society. We tend to imagine stalkers as sad individuals with so little going on in their own lives that they fully attach themselves to someone else’s. We envisage stalking in a simplistic way – we conjure up images of a man following a woman around dark corners and sneaking into her garden to simply be near her. Most troubling is that our popular image of the stalker often paints them as a creepy but ultimately harmless figure – too sad to be taken seriously.

But this could not be any further from the truth. A 2017 study from the University of Gloucestershire found that stalking behaviours were present in 94% of intimate partner or domestic homicides. Dr Jane Monckton Smith, a researcher leading on the study, urged police forces to reconsider their methods of assessing risk…

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Male lion brothers mating/bonding/roaring at the Melbourne Zoo (video)

Hi everyone. I’m enjoying my time off and today spent the day at the zoo. The animals were amazing and we were treated to many exciting, up close displays of interesting behaviour. I couldn’t resist sharing this moment with you. Please turn the sound on, as you’re in for a real treat.

Two male lions, twin brothers Ndidi and Zuberi, were playing roughly and then appeared to be mating at the Melbourne Zoo today. The victor then walked off, and roared repeatedly in what seemed like a jubilant display of dominance, while the other one lay exhausted on the ground. The other lion eventually wandered back and collapsed on the ground next to him. 

After looking online, I’ve found that such behaviour can be sexual, but can also be about expressing dominance or bonding within a family group. I feel lucky to have witnessed this and to have heard the magnificent roaring too.

My Enemy is Strong

This poem was written one day before I had a miscarriage in 2018. Until now I had blocked the incident out and forgotten about the sequence of things because it was so disturbing. I now wonder if this phone call from my mother, which I remember upset me deeply at the time, led to the miscarriage the following day. It’s chilling and upsetting to realise this.

Feminist Confessional

My enemy is strong
All she must do is
Drop a thimbleful of doubt
A wee dram of sourness
Into my dry parched mouth
While I let it quench my
Soul a pitted sponge
Soaks it up
Perilously thirsty
For approval
Ever absent
I take the poison
In lieu of love

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Doctor Ramani Durvasula speaks on the centrality of minimisation in the dynamic of narcissistic abuse

This is a really significant video on minimisation and the role it plays both within narcissistic relationships, and also in society at large (in relation to narcissism). Doctor Ramani Durvasula goes into significant detail on how such minimisation enables narcissism to proliferate and causes victims/survivors to feel alone and unsupported in the aftermath of such relationships. If you know someone who is in a narcissistic relationship, or who has left one, and you want to be a supportive friend, this is an excellent video to watch. Don’t minimise your friend’s experience, deny it, or try to turn it positive. Simply sit and listen and hold space for their pain. It’s hard to do, but resist the urge to fix things and make them better.

Shrill: notes from a loud woman – Melita White

Brave & Reckless

I won’t stay quiet, I will shriek shrill,
Scream like a harpy, wail like a siren, peal like a coloratura – my crisp clean notes
bouncing through the air like voluminous pearls from
breath-filled blimp lungs; I will not be a
soft little mouse deficient in decibels, I will be large and my voice will thunder loud
and all will hear me roar like a woman


Melita White is founder and writer of the blog Feminist Confessional, a space that features feminist poetry, essays and personal pieces in a confessional style, with a focus on the MeToo movement. She is a composer and musician and loves making all kinds of things.https://feministconfessional.wordpress.com

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When God Was a Woman – Melita White

Thanks to Christine for the prompt and for publishing this oldie-but-a-goodie of mine again.

Brave & Reckless

When God was a woman
there was no God
There was only you and me and many other humans besides
and there were animals and trees and rivers both wide and skinny and spans of land and oceans deep and crystals and sand and stars and comets and heavenly bodies galaxial
When God was a woman the moon presided
and the sky and weather and seasons
were full of infinite knowledge both intimate and beyond

When God was a woman
there was no God
and power filled each entity
and no one thing dared
take from another
what was rightfully theirs
And all had food and tenderness and air and water and learning and life and respect
and there was enough of all of these things
because there was no God
to rule or to punish to preach or to take or destroy or to flood or to incite us…

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Blog update

Feminist Confessional has had a rather significant edit. You will find a few of my older poems and spoken word videos towards the top of the blog, instead of in chronological order. This is a result of me culling and then republishing certain posts (silly WordPress won’t let them appear in their original order). You can find my most recent work just a little way down the page… keep on scrolling bravely, Dear Reader.

New & Recent Publications

My friend Greg Luce is a fabulous poet and you can catch up on all his latest (and forthcoming) poems and poetry news here. I highly recommend you follow Greg’s blog while you’re at it too.

dctexpoet

I have received word from Kelsay Books, that my new collection, Riffs and Improvisations, will be published this coming May. In the meantime, here are some new and recent publications.

Some Scene4 columns:

https://www.scene4.com/0321/gregoryluce0321.html A review of Megan Alpert’s excellent poetry collection The Animal by Your Side.

https://www.scene4.com/archivesqv6/2021/feb-2021/0221/gregoryluce0221.html Space Is Still the Place about the music of Sun Ra.

https://www.scene4.com/archivesqv6/2020/oct-2020/1020/gregoryluce1020.html How to Poem

I have two poems in the latest issue of ArLiJo: http://www.ArLiJo.com

I have a poem in this excellent anthology. Order here: http://www.washingtonwriters.org/

I have two poems in this lovely collection of poems byArlington, VA, writers. For more information and to order:
https://katherine-young-poet.com/arlington-anthology/

Three poems in Gargoyle 73. Get a copy here:
https://gargoylepaycock.wpcomstaging.com/73-2/

Stay tuned for more news and reading announcements.

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Book Review of “The Kali Project” by Melita White of Feminist Confessional #TheKaliProject #BookReview

Megha's World

A brilliant and breathtaking #review of the #anthology The Kali Project
by the utterly talented Melita White of Feminist Confessional.Please read the review to know more about the anthology and the fierce and powerful voices it carries.

You can read the review here

Melita’s work has also been published in the anthologiesYou Are Not YourRape,We Will Not Be Silenced, andAs The World Burns: Writers and Artists Reflect on a World Gone Mad. Her work has also featured on blogsWhisper and The Roar(of which she is a contributing member),Brave & RecklessandAnimal Heart Press. Melita is part ofwave four of iamb, an online library/journal of contemporary poetry. Visit the blogPerfume Polytechnicto read Melita’s extensive writing on fragrance and olfaction. Melita is also a spoken word artist; if you’re interested, visit her Feminist ConfessionalYouTube…

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So many uncomfortable feelings — Melita White

So many uncomfortable feelings, and my thoughts on how to deal with them, published just now at Whisper and the Roar.

Whisper and the Roar

So many uncomfortable feelings
What shall I do with them?
This one I’ll avoid, catch a bullet train away from
This one I’ll shove in a drawer, tightly, amongst my worn-out knickers
This one I’ll stuff down my throat, with a cinnamon bun to chase it
This one I’ll hide up a tree for later, amongst the ripening fruit
This one curls me up, like a newborn babe in terror
This one I’ll push high inside, right up near my cervix
This one I’ll pass on to you, contagious miasma of melancholy
This one I’ll let ignite me, set my jaw on fire
This one makes me buy things:
This thing makes me feel worthy, and that thing makes me feel loved, and this thing makes me look thin, and that thing makes me feel rich, and this one means I belong, and that one brings me peace, and this…

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