Dear reader, you are not alone if you feel outraged, triggered, upset, saddened, scared and silenced by the outcome of Depp vs Heard. I personally feel the full weight of all the abuse I’ve suffered over my lifetime today, as well as the intense threat of a backlash being perpetrated against women who speak out. I am tired of feeling like a second class citizen. I am tired of being silenced. I am tired of the patriarchy. I am tired of the lack of justice for abuse victims and how our legal systems both stem from and perpetuate patriarchy. I am tired but I will never give up this fight. I will never stop speaking the truth about what happened to me.
But today, I am sad. Today I remembered (in clear details) being raped at age 17 by a boyfriend who was supposed to love me but felt my body was his property to do whatever he wanted with. There will never be any legal consequences for him, although he has been reported to the police. There is almost no justice for women who go through abuse of any kind. With MeToo we made our own justice, and we made significant gains, but now we are seeing a backlash against this. This is a terrifying day for women. I want to say, as I did in the video I published yesterday, that I hear you, I believe you, I trust you.
I also want you to know you are not alone. There are services you can call to speak to people who will also hear you, believe you, and support you. Please call them today (or any day) if you need to. You are worthy of support and you deserve to be here. Please note that these are phone (and online) services available in Australia only. There will (hopefully) be equivalent services in other countries around the world. Please add them to the comments below if you know of them, and I will add them to this document as they come in.
I will open up comments so that people can chat about how they feel today. Please keep comments respectful and note that they do require my approval before they are published. I will not be publishing any comments that are in favour of violent and abusive men.
The resources in Australia are:
1800RESPECT: 1800 737 732. This is a free service and specialises in providing information and counselling relating to all kinds of abuse and domestic violence. You can speak to them for general advice, or you can ask to be put through to a specialist counsellor for a longer chat. This service has been invaluable to me and has supported me through two abusive relationships. I can highly recommend it. It’s available 24 hours.
For general counselling, or if you’re feeling at risk of self harm or suicide, all of these numbers offer free phone counselling Australia-wide, 24 hours a day:
Beyond Blue: 1300 22 4636
Lifeline: 13 11 14
Suicide Callback Service (please note this is not actually a callback service, they will answer your call if you stay on hold. The name is misleading): 1300 659 467
In Victoria, you can call the following organisations for support about domestic violence, abuse and sexual assault and to talk to someone about your situation. Please check out their websites before calling to learn more about the focus of each organisation. These organisations run during normal business hours only but have links on their site to other crisis services that can be contacted around the clock:
CASA House (Centre Against Sexual Assault): 03 9635 3610 and 1800 806 292. Please note that after hours these numbers will put you in touch with the Victorian Sexual Assault Crisis Line, which can offer support and counselling.
The Orange Door: this service is based on where you live. Please find the phone number for your area here.
WIRE (women’s information referral exchange): 1300 134 130. Please note that WIRE only offers a callback service and will return your call. This can take a while (sometimes a few days), so they are best called if you’re after general information, rather than seeking support in a crisis.
For callers in Queensland:
DV Connect: 1800 811 811
For adult survivors of child abuse:
Blue Knot Foundation: 1300 657 380 (service operates from 9am-5pm seven days a week)
For men who think they might have a problem with being abusive or using violence, please call the following service for counselling:
Men’s Referral Service: 1300 766 491
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